A doctor examining Lena, who was rushed to the emergency room, took her husband, Ole, aside and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”  

“Vell, me either, Doc,” said Ole.  “But she’s a great cook and really good vit da kids.”

One day a mailman was greeted by Little Ole and a huge dog.  The mailman said to Little Ole, “Does your dog bite?”

“No,” replied little Ole.  Just then the dog bit the mailman.  He yelled, “I thought your dog doesn’t bite!”

“He doesn’t,” replied Little Ole.  “Dat’s not my dog.”

Ole drove into a lumber yard in his pickup.  “I vould like a bunch of 4 by 2’s,” he told the lumberman.  

“Do you mean 2 by 4’s?” asked the man.

“Yes,” said Ole.

“How long do you need them?” asked the lumberman.

“Vell, for a long time,” replied Ole.  “I’m building a house!”

Ole asked Lena, “Vhenever I get mad at yew, yew never seem tew get upset.  How dew yew manage tew control your temper?”

“I yust go and clean da toilet,” responded Lena.

“And yust how does dat help?” asked Ole

“Vell, I use your toothbrush,” answered Lena.

« Back